(Not) Parenting a 21 year old

I think I've been a pretty good parent for 24 years. God's Grace has made up for my failures. Not parenting is the hardest thing I've ever done.

Amanda will tell you that if she lived at home, we would last for about 2 weeks. After that, I'd have to be her parent and she'd hate me.

Brent is almost 21 (December 8), goes to college, works part-time, and lives in the same bedroom that he lived in 20 years ago, except that the bear and balloon wallpaper has been replaced and he sleeps in a full bed because he is 6'2" -- too tall for his old twin bed. Brent is taking the "scenic" route through college. This is his third year and he has three more years to go. He has his act together, works reasonably hard, is respectful of Dan and I, but I still try to parent him. That causes great conflict.

Case in point... I misunderstood him when he told me last night that he DID NOT have a 9:00 a.m. class because he has a 5:00 p.m. test. I woke him up when I left the house at 7:10 a.m. Dan REALLY woke him up at 8:30 a.m. He didn't have a class until 12:00 p.m. :-) He is fully capable of waking himself up, but yet I took that responsibility from him this morning.

I love him more than life itself, but this is MY problem, not his problem. I need to focus on myself and change what needs to be changed. I need to paint more... have I mentioned that I LOVE painting class??? :-)

Lord, please help me to be an encourager, not an enforcer. I recognize, in my head, that I cannot parent Brent to a 4.0 GPA. I recognize, in my head, that Brent is an adult and is 100% responsible for his actions. I feel this is a pride issue on my part and I am sinning when I push so hard that Brent resents me. I want home to be a soft place to fall. Brent isn't a failure, but I make him feel like one by the words that come out of my mouth. Protect him in the way I can no longer protect him. Show Brent Your real presence in his life. He is your child and needs you most during this time in his life. Let me just love this precious gift you gave me almost 21 years ago.